


Celestial Godparents

by orphan_account



Category: Fairly OddParents, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And the cursed realization that Gabriel must be Jorgen then, Fluff, I don‘t know either, M/M, Zira is a cat because I said so, weird au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 16:57:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19855750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: So I thought of that cartoon I watched as a kid recently and I got this idea. A pretty weird crossover? Maybe. A good idea? Debatable. But c’mon guys I just had to...AU where they realize a bit earlier who the Antichrist really is and decide to go influence Adam Fairly Oddparents style.





	Celestial Godparents

“I’m home!”

Adam entered the house and deduced from the smell that dinner was in preparation. Good. It had suddenly started pouring outside and the first crisp autumn breezes were manifesting themselves as well as the first orange-tinted leaves. The weather was cold, damp; what one might call proper British.

That had not stopped him from spending the day with the Them, of course. Someone had to inconvenience the Tadfield neighborhood watch, after all. 

“Take off your wellies, will you? I just cleaned the floor.”, his mum shouted from the kitchen, over the sound of bubbling pots and other household appliances. Adam had not, in fact, thought about that and quickly pulled the rubber boots off, looking at the muddy trail he had left behind. Oops? 

“Dinner’s ready in fifteen minutes.”, Mrs. Young said when he walked into the kitchen. Adam knew that this meant it would at least take another half an hour or so, and subsequently decided to go to his room for a while. 

What he found in there was, to say the least, a huge, confusing surprise. He was not alone in there. 

On an armchair in the corner sat a chubby man dressed in terribly antiquated beige clothing (something straight from a Victorian BBC period drama).He had blonde curls, a weird tartan bowtie, and was smiling warmly. Beside him, sprawled out on the floor and leaning against the bed, was another man, this one lanky and dressed all in black, with dark ginger hair and round sunglasses. 

“And you must be Adam, then?”, the blonde asked.

“Excuse me mister, but WHO ARE YOU?”

The blonde wiggled awkwardly, trying to add a dash of mystery to the whole affair. 

“Well, we are, as one might say-...uh...”

“We’re your celestial godparents.”, the man in the shades interjected.

“My what now!? I have actual parents, you know?”

“That’s not quite how it works.”, the man in the bowtie said. 

“Allow us to introduce ourselves.” The lanky one pointed at himself. “I’m Crowley, and his name is Aziraphale.”

“Akira- what?”

“Aziraphale.”, the blonde corrected. 

“That’s weird.”

The strange men shot each other a look. It contained mild panic, general awkwardness, and a loss for what to say next. They started chuckling uncomfortably. 

“How’d you even get in here? The window is shut.”

“That’s just the thing! You see, Adam, we can do what you might call, uh, magic. And are here to- “  
Aziraphale did not know what to tell him about the reason of their visit. One could hardly enter into an eight year-old’s room and tell him that he was, in fact, the Antichrist who was destined to bring doom upon the world. 

“We’re here to make your life easier, really. Never know when you need a miracle or two.”, Crowley said, giving his friend a look that said, loosely translated: “Saved your ass there, angel. Thank me later.” 

“But-“ Adam stared at them both. 

“He asks a lot of questions, doesn’t he? I like that!”, Crowley said. The man in the armchair rolled his eyes. 

“You’re- you’re not exactly human, are you?”

“Not quite.” 

“What’s it then?”

“Well, you see, I am actually an angel. A principality, if you will.”, Aziraphale said, a bit smug. “And he’s a demon.”

“An actual demon from hell?” Adam thought that he sounded more like he was from somewhere in Scotland. 

“Uh-huh. Hell.”, Crowley nodded.

He tried to collect the bits of stuff he knew about angels and demons from the corners of his brain. “Aren’t they supposed to have horns or bat wings or be on fire or something? You look normal.”

Crowley, with a mischievous smile on his face, took off his sunglasses to reveal glowing, yellow reptilian eyes with slit pupils. “Is that better?”

“Stop it, Crowley. You’ll scare him half to death.”

“Calm down, angel. I have to be allowed to freak him out a bit, surely.”

“That’s rad.”, Adam said.

And then he thought about it for a minute. “But you can’t just stay here in my room. I’m sure my parents wouldn’t like it.” 

“Not to worry! We are well-prepared.”

And he would’ve asked a lot more questions, but that’s when Mrs.Young called him for dinner.

“I must say the cooking smells absolutely delightful.”, Aziraphale said.

“Uh. Yeah. Mum makes a mean cottage pie. But are you just going to sit around here forever or what?”

“Of course we have taken precautions!”

“ADAM! FOOD’S GETTING COLD.” This was most likely an exaggeration. His mother’s cottage pie, good as it was, had a tendency to be hotter than hellfire. He had learned to be patient and let it cool down a bit the hard way. 

“Uh...I should be going downstairs. You want anything?”

Aziraphale would’ve asked for a bit of dinner, but remembered that that would’ve looked quite suspicious. He was a bit disappointed.  
“We’re alright, boy. Now watch.”

They both got up. Then something very strange happened. Even stranger than all the stuff before. Suddenly their forms both seemed to blur, to slowly morph into something different. The men (or man-shaped beings or whatever) weren’t there anymore. Now there was just an enormous, black snake with reddish scales on its belly for good measure. And there was also a slightly scruffy, enormously smug-looking white cat with a few dark spots on its face and back. 

“I think I’m getting the hang of it slowly.”, said the cat. Adam assumed that was Mr.Aziraphale.

“You’re still wearing your bowtie, angel.”, said the snake. The cat was, in fact, still wearing a tartan bowtie. 

“Ah well. Better than last time.” 

“That would’ve creeped him out...”

Adam beheld the slightly surreal scene of talking animals in his bedroom. He did not quite know what to think of it. He made a resolution to come to terms with it over dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did think about that cat-being threatened-by-a-knife meme when I imagined Zira‘s animal form. I‘m right and you know it.  
> (He can now turn into a cat because I said so.)


End file.
